21"Jesus looked him hard in the eye—and loved him! He said, "There's one thing left: Go sell whatever you own and give it to the poor. All your wealth will then be heavenly wealth. And come follow me."
22The man's face clouded over. This was the last thing he expected to hear, and he walked off with a heavy heart. He was holding on tight to a lot of things, and not about to let go." (taken from Mark 10, The Message)
We have a new Senior Pastor at our church and the above was some of the scripture he used this past Sunday. It was a day that God knew I would be sitting in the seats and would need to be hearing some of what was said. I was reminded of surrender, total and complete surrender. What was shared about this passage in Mark 10 struck me in a whole new way. Jesus was asking the rich man to give (surrender) everything he had, everything he was, everything he thought….in other words his full “identity”, to God. As you see the man goes away sad, “heavy hearted”. It is obvious that he made the choice to not surrender. Here is the thing though; do you notice that Jesus lets him go? He does not call him back and say “ok ok, hold on just a moment and let’s talk about this, how about 80%? How does that work for you?” No, Jesus does not negotiate! He lets him go, its 100% or nothing. Wow! It has really made me ask “what am I holding on tight too and not about to let go”? This is a huge evaluation on so many different levels; our relationships, our possessions, our children, home, work, hobbies, habits, thought processes…..identity……I’m sure you can fill in 100 more blanks. There are those things that I “think” I have surrendered entirely but then realize maybe I have only “let go” to the point of when its going the way I think it will or should go. That is when I realize that surrender is also an ongoing thing and I am so thankful for a God who is full of grace.
I say I needed to hear this message last weekend because God used it to encourage my heart after learning there is some more “waiting” for New Zealand. We heard back from the Embassy on Saturday and received the unexpected answer of; “we want some more tests done on DaNae”. Although it was a bit of a surprise to read that letter, God has really used this week to help us process and learn through HIM. In reality this is “good” news, they just want some more information to be sure on some things. God clearly spoke to me on Sunday morning reminding me to surrender, surrender EVERYTHING, even medical processes, visa processes, it is not for me to decide “the way I think it should be or should have happened”……just surrender! So with my armor of God firmly in place we have dealt with many phone calls to doctors and several trips down to Exeter Hospital. As of last night everything has been done and everything looks great! We are just waiting on one more test. My doctors have been so understanding and so helpful, that right there is a gift from God. We are not sure what this next “waiting” process will be, we should know in the next few days what the “wait” might look like. What I do know is that we are at peace, we are trying daily (sometime hourly) to surrender, to just let God hem us in behind and before. In the mean time we also see each day, state-side, as a gift, and we don’t want to miss what God is doing each day, so we attempt to live fully present in each day. These days are full of opportunity to love on the relationships around us, to work on closing the funding gap so we can give NZ our full time, and transitioning our family.
Thank you for your prayers, please continue to pray! We know that God’s got this, and He knows what it looks like, we just need to surrender, not negotiate but fully surrender. We love praying for you too, so please, while we “wait” don’t hesitate to share with us ways we can be lifting you up too.
“actively waiting”, DaNae (Rob and boys)